My Perfectly Dreadful Novel

I am an all-powerful god in my tiny universe -- Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!


I have decided to force all my characters to to eat haggis for dinner every night. Ha ha ha ha!

An unexpected benefit of this development means that I can actually include a recipe for haggis! Which will add approximately 157 words on its own!



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A section of the future Epilogue, which will contain a recipe for haggis, among other things

Unfortunately, prior to the second day I only jotted down a few sporadic and barely legible notes, as I was unaware of the events that were to take place. The remainder were, rather sadly, mislaid in the fish pond after the second murder. However, I still retain Penelope Beefeater’s recipe for haggis, which she was kind enough to give me after the case was solved. It may possibly be of interest to the reader —to wit:

* Penelope Beefeater’s Recipe for Haggis (a traditional Scottish dish) *
One sheep liver
One sheep lung
One sheep heart
One sheep stomach
One half pound suet
Three chopped onions
Three fourths cup ground oatmeal
One teaspoon salt
One teaspoon black pepper
One half teaspoon nutmeg
Three fourths cup chicken stock

Remove excess fat from the lungs and stomach then rub with salt . Soak in cold water for three hours, then turn the stomach inside out for filling. Place heart, lung and liver in a large pot of water, bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for half an hour. Chop heart, lung and liver before mixing with toasted oatmeal. Pack mixture into stomach, leaving about one third empty, before pressing out any extra air and tying securely. Place stomach in boiling water then simmer for three hours (pricking several holes in it whenever it begins to swell).

Serve with neeps, tatties and nips!